Spiderwoman

I used to be majorly into comics. Mainly Marvel because the characters seem more gritty but also because they have some dedicated writers who I love. My favorite books always involved Wolverine, Spiderwoman or Deadpool. Primarily the latter two.

You can imagine the level of excitement that the announcement of Deadpool being in the last Wolverine movie brought out in me. This mental state reached squealing, brainless heights as the opening scenes started rolling in the theater. However, when the movie finally showed Deadpool, I was horrorstruck at the portrayal. Wade Wilson's character earlier in the movie was spot on with my image of Deadpool. I suppose the creator's forgot the quintessential "merc with a moutth," persona when they sewed Deadpool's mouth shut. I'm not sure how they'll rectify that when the Deadpool spin-off movie is released. I'm still looking forward to it.

Now, I love Brian Michael Bendis and I LOVE how he's raised Spiderwoman up to the same level as the other Avengers. I own the volume that documents her origin and if they were to make a Spiderwoman movie, they'd pretty much have to follow that backstory. It's rumored, in the basest sense of the word, that there will be a Spiderwoman movie. It's also rumored that Vanessa Hudgens of High School Musical fame would star as my favorite heroine:

I personally find her face annoying and her acting is exactly what you would expect of a Disney star. However, she has been breaking into more adult and gritty roles such as Blondie in Suckerpunch. I feel, though, that her portayal in that movie was stiff and forced and that she's not likely to become more badass anytime soon.

Casting for this role should avoid conventional dark-haired badasses like Angelina Jolie, Kate Beckinsale and Milla Jovovich, all of whom carry long histories of tough female characters that would take away from this heroine. Really, they should find some actress not in the public's persona but given that most people aren't familiar with the character, there are some other suggestions:

1. Ellen Page:

Now, hear me out. I'm not talking adorable baby face Juno star. Ellen Page has shown she can play more adult roles. Given Spiderwoman's difficult past, I'm thinking Ellen Page as the older version of her role in Hard Candy.  I watched that movie for the second time the other day and still got chills. If she channelled that mentality into Spiderwoman, it would be a film to remember.

2. Natalie Portman:

She's a phenomenal actress and has been playing badasses since she was thirteen (disregarding Padme). Think, "Leon the Professional, V for Vendetta and Closer," Natalie. Also, this:

3. Zooey Deschanel:

This is definitely an out there pick purely because I love Zooey Deschanel. We know she can play a bitch but that's not really what I'm going for. She'd be good for Spiderwoman when she was innocent and naive but I would to see her playing a cool, awesome chick without the usual Zooey quirk.

Google Search History

The Little Englishman recently cleared my phone because it was saying I had low storage. My phone does this on a regular basis, pretty much every time it updates itself. Anyway, this has allowed me to see exactly what I've searched in the last 24 hours, to my own amusement. Here's the list:

dream interpretation
liam neeson only person to look less bad ass
yeast infection crease leg*
yeast**
milk soap food coloring experiment

*This is the one I forgot I did and then snort laughed for three minutes after re-reading it. It's an affliction only one person in my household currently has and it's not me.
** Can anyone do a summary for me as to house yeast it "harvested"? I can't sit down and read that wiki article. There was no real answer that I could come by when skimming.

I was looking up the milk soap food coloring experiment after I made the standard non-newtonian fluid every middle schooler has ever played with: cornstarch and water. Apparently England hates their children so the Little Englishman has never had this experience. As for the milk experiment, it's pretty much summed up in this video here:

Anyway, dream interpretation was just on a whim. It's pseudoscience to me but the Little Englishman's mum is a therapist and utilizes it so I thought I'd check it out. I've been having a reoccurring theme in dreams of a room in my house being completely forgotten. I'll come back to it and for some reason it will be infested with dead and living animals as well as teeming with general decay. In the first, I was visiting my old room in Freeport and remembered the hamster collection I kept in the wall. I've never owned a hamster in my life but in the dream there was a corner of a wall that had a built in, multi-storied hamster cage. It was unkempt yet there were still living hamsters in it. My mom was still feeding them but had neglected to dispose of the many hamster carcasses that lined the floor or change the bedding which was littered with rotting waste. I was mortified.

The second dream involved the Little Englishman and I living in a one story house with an expansive floor plan though we only had one tiny little bathroom. We'd lived there for quite some time but had never entered one room in it because the landlord said the previous tenants had never cleaned it out and apparently neither he nor we had bothered to do anything about it. That information completely slipped my mind one day and I went into this room. It was about 15 by 15 feet and had to massive vanities the size of a regular kitchen table. There were lights built into the tops of the walls creating very muted lighting but everything was beige and off-white. There was a spot light over this massive jacuzzi/shower with shelves made out of marbled glass along two sides of it and a long, white linen shower curtain. The whole room was carpeted except for a patch of beige ceramic tile alongside the jacuzzi. It was beautiful as long as you disregarded the mold, moss and algae that covered most of the jacuzzi, up the shower curtain and spreading out in patches across the carpet. I yelled for the Little Englishman to come look and then noticed the hoards of both dead and living frogs and other amphibians. I was startled and turned for the door but slipped. A frog the size of my head with a completely yellow body except two large red spots on its back made a break for the door and I started screaming for the Little Englishman.

I know I've had more like this but I can remember them. It's got to mean something to my subconscious but it doesn't have any sort of readily available explanation.

Same old mindset that I couldn't give a fuck about

Recently I've been enlightened that some of what I considered dubstep was brostep and therefore I should alter my description. Now, I've researched quite a bit and have found no definitive answer what the difference is between the two. Even on a long forum music thread, there were contradictions and arguments as to which was which. In the end, I'm as much in the dark as I was previously only more pissed off.

It all boils down to this weird mindset we as humans have that tells us the new is bad and old is better. It's what tells indie kids that Modest Mouse sold out for having one popular song on the radio despite older songs having been widely popular before that. They weren't on the radio, though, so clearly they'd sold out. It's the thin difference between oldfags and newfags on 4chan. No one admits to being a newfag despite it being statistically improbable that every OP that triforces being there from anywhere from the beginning.

It's a mindset that I've obviously participated in previously. I used to attempt to be a hipster indie bitch. I also used to judge people who became fans of Nine Inch Nails post-With-Teeth. I still do because NIN was at their best before that but I digress. This mentality slows us and hinders us from achieving true greatness.

All I want to hear from dubstep is filthy, dirty, heavy, metallic, engrossing, enveloping, sick computer sexual noises with disc drives flying every where from the intensity. I want only the drops because I have no patience and so called "old dubstep," is long, meandering housey bullshit.  My friend told me that brostep was repetitive and had random lyrics thrown in. I see no difference. So fuck it.

By the way, what's this then? THAT'S NOT EVEN LOW FREQUENCY, OSCILLATORS, ungh... blah, blah, blah

Fifty Shades of Shit #1: Taxes are hard

Dear E. L. James:
Why is it so hard for Anastasia Steele (ugh) to understand why the seemingly awful Christian Grey would give to charity? As a college student myself and someone who has held a job, like your main character has, I've had to pay taxes. There is a section where you list tax deductible donations and the Little Englishman has informed me that it is the same in England, where you are from. It is also fairly common for people of great means to give to charity. Some may do it because they honestly support a charity or as a thinly veiled attempt to garner more fame from the public. When a CEO who clearly love power and money and is a terrible person does it, it is purely for the tax write-off. They are able to retain more of their income this way because they receive it all back. Anastasia Steele (ugh) would know these basic facts as she's paid taxes as in college...at least one would hope. I haven't read much past this part and I'm sure that this is meant to be some way of showing the "human," in Christian Grey but you've gone about it in a silly way.

Fifty Shades of Shit

I'm going to read Fifty Shades of Grey because it should be pretty awful. I haven't been able to get past the 3rd page when we first see the main character's name. Anastasia Steele is exactly the name a fanfiction writer with the pseudonym "Snowqueens Icedragon"(THAT WAS HER REAL PEN NAME!!!) would give their main character. The first person, present tense style is also grating on me. It's the same way a person of E.L. James' age would tell a story about an altercation with someone at a grocery store: "So then, I say to the guy 'Get your face out of my way,' and he slams his cart into mine. I'm not going to take that shit so I throw a watermelon at his head. I don't know why they called security because I am clearly handling this."

Twilight Breaking Dawn Part 2 Trailer

This is just a quick post because I'm too tired to tirade on Twilight (but not too exhausted for alliteration).

I was just wondering if any one else noticed the frame of the trailer that Kristen Stewart looked exactly like Robert Pattinson. If you didn't, here it is.

I am going to be so drunk when someone leaks this movie to the internet

An Analogy

Today, I stumbled upon the perfect analogy for the role religion plays in government and just progress as a society in general. Now keep in mind that I'm not even near a militant atheist, more like a slightly more sceptical agnostic who believes freedom of religion is absolutely essential, as is separation of church and state.

So, I was on the gruelling journey home from my hometown. I'm trying to speed without getting pulled over because I just want to be there already. I run into some road construction where the left lane (this also adds to the analogy as we were in the "religious right," lane)  has been closed off. It's okay because for about two miles I'm following someone who was also trying to speed within the limitations of the construction speed limit. Suddenly, a massive, generic, red SUV pulls in off of an on-ramp. The driver in front of me courteously allows the SUV in and then, I assume, immediately regrets this decision. The SUV has chosen that 55 mph is just not safe enough for the one lane traffic when there is no actual road work occurring. They brake to between 40 and 45 mph, causing the car in front of me and myself to have to travel around 35 mph just to keep from hitting the car in front of us. The SUV decided it need also sporadically brake, causing my car to take a hit in the wear and tear department.

I mentioned to the Little Englishman my thoughts on how this SUV represented the lack of progress in government due to the constant foot dragging of the religious constituents and those they elect when the construction zone ended and the car in front of me and I were able to speed around the terrorizing SUV. It was then I saw a Jesus fish with a cross for an eye. Obviously the mentality of elected officials and their constituents crossover into all aspects of life, including driving.

Pure Boredom

All right, so if anyone still reads this blog, they'll realize that I post infrequently. This is due to a precise set of circumstances:
1. Sleep Deprivation: Hate to bring this up again but I'm on Adderall. It's become deeply ingrained in my day-to-day life, especially when it comes to sleeping habits. College students who have taken it to cram for a test know exactly what I mean. I sleep semi-normally most nights but every once in a while my legal speed decides I should stay up all night and do nothing productive. I then proceed to take more Adderall at about 6am in order to continue through the next day like I had sleep. Mostly it just makes me antsy.
2. The Little Englishman is asleep: He's not very good at pulling all-nighters but always tries to come along for the ride when I do. He lasts until I pop a perk-me-up pill and then slumps himself into the bed. He is currently unconscious after another attempt. I just jostled him quite vigorously and shouted his name. No response whatsoever. Yet, if I play a youtube video as quiet as I can still hear, he will instantly wake up and tell me to turn it off.
3. Inspiration: For one, I have to remember this god damn blog exists which is an issue in itself as I can't even remember my sisters' birthdays (they both happen in "J," months which just fucks me up to no end and you can forget about the day.) Then, I have to have watched or read something that is amazingly creative. Usually it's a book I'm reading or some random awesome thing on StumbleUpon. This time it wasn't so much a creative thing as it was horrifying Youtube video. Also, the knowledge that no one reads facebook notes, even if they are tagged in it, makes me seek the comfort of a wider audience despite my lack of commenters. Really, it's just to put my thoughts into coherent sentences that I badger the Little Englishman into reading later. He's a big fan.
4. Utter Boredom: The Little Englishman is asleep. I'm no longer entertained by the endless drivelling of vloggers. Well not endless or drivelling, just kind of tired by the 100th video I've watched today. Modern Warfare 3 has frustrated me to the point of rage quitting. Sudoku is beyond my mental capacity. Playing fetch with Dexter is no longer amusing or cute, just painful because she doesn't realize I'm going to throw the toy again and am not stealing it. George R.R. Martin has described too many tunics, banners and breasts for me to be enthralled. We cancelled Hulu Plus and Netflix. College is out.....

LET'S BLOG!

Conformity

So, I watched this video today. I left youtube trends streaming on my Xbox and when I saw the title, I was hoping for the high pitched screaming of moronic preteens. I live for footage of overreactions to boy bands that college students will look back on in shame and horror. I was sorely mistaken.

This is just teenage people talking about pop culture. They have all the representations of high school archetypes: popular, pretty boy; hot, popular blonde (who looks exactly like the slightly prettier version of Miley Cyrus); the butch gay kid; the super gay kid; the trashy white guy who probably likes ICP; the pierced neo-scene-emo girl who moshes to high school metal bands; the fat girl who is trying to hard to make up for it and the ugly girl who is trying her hardest to stand out when all she really wishes is to be the hot blonde. Oh, and the token black girl and boy they picked out for diversity but not so overtly "black," as to put off the white viewers.

While I kind of think the hot blonde is strangely adorable, I lament that at the end she talks about some shitty, soulless music she is making.

Anyway, this is not the point, just the set up. Here's the segue which is really shitty. This girl:

...bugs the shit out of me. Throughout the video she is worried about coming off as a "conformist," or feels like she's "conforming." I absolutely hate this word in this context. It is painfully clear to every viewer that this girl is so insecure about the merits of personality and allowing someone to get to know her via conversation that she has adopted this wacky outward appearance just to stand out. What she's done instead has become the female version of Ducky from Pretty In Pink:

What's worse is that I'm pretty sure that the scene at the end of Sixteen Candles is emblazoned on her shirt. Is she hoping that this quirky shell will transform her into every character Molly Ringwald has ever played and she'll snag the popular boy by the end of her senior prom?

Focusing on not conforming so much that every move you make is calculated as to not fit in with everyone else is in itself as bad as becoming a carbon copy of the Hollister clad blonde girls she so hates. Her outside is merely a shell to cover up the fact that she's not so quirky and special on the inside. At least she admits to liking One Direction, against her own "non-conformist," desires. She clearly likes them so much more than every other girl and guy in this video as she can name the boys and their countries of origin. I'm sure she frequents fan-sites and forums devoted to the sickening "band." Yet she must be original! She's the kind of girl that will act like a buffoon, pretend to have silly addictions to things, and try to say "random," things. But when she's not on the stage for her friends or classmates, she's just like every other teenager and yearns to be something she is not.